Insecurities and the like: Keller and Galen
by flamerider05
Summary: Lkke the title says, insecurities and the like, the like being securities. This is a three-shot revolving around Keller and Galen from L.Jane Smith's Night World series.
1. Chapter 1

Insecurities: Keller

She wasn't beautiful like Iliana was beautiful. She wasn't good like Iliana was good. She wasn't Iliana and she could honestly say she hated herself for that.

Keller twitched nervously when Galen took a seat on her left. His arm came to rest gently around her shoulders.

"Something wrong, Keller?" he asked, squeezing her shoulder lightly.

Knowing that he knew she was being insecure did not stop her from covering it up and lying through her teeth.

"No, I'm just thinking," she stated.

"I see," he leaned in close to her, burying his face in her hair. "I missed you today."

Keller shivered at the honesty in his voice. "I missed you, too."

Galen pulled back suddenly. "I heard you were asked to go with the Wild Powers."

She nodded. "I haven't decided if I'm going or not."

It didn't have to be said why. Galen knew he wasn't going and while Keller didn't want to be away from him, she would be lying if she said she didn't feel responsible for Iliana, her blood sister.

"I think," Galen said, "you need to go with them." He must've felt her stiffen because he hastily started to continue. "Because…" Keller cut him off.

"You're right." She tried to keep the bitterness from her voice. "Winnie and Nissa are going, Iliana wants me to go, their short on experienced guards, and the Wild Powers need me."

She stood. Galen stood with her. She moved toward the door.

"Keller…" she stopped more from his voice than the hand he had placed on her shoulder.

"Yeah?" it came out weak, like she was afraid to hear what he had to say… which wasn't that far from the truth.

"Don't ever make the mistake of thinking I want you to leave. I can think of very few things that I would dislike more. But the world needs you. I can't be greedy."

Keller nodded. She forced herself to believe him as she slipped out the door so she wouldn't be compelled to turn around and beg.

She found Thierry and told him of her acceptance. He had smiled sympathetically at her and gave his thanks.

"Iliana will be happy to have her blood sister with her. I'm glad you're going, Iliana really does need you. You should go and tell her."

Keller nodded. She left the room intending to go and do just that. She was diverted from her course by voices in the hallway. Jez and Morgead. She saw the final bit of the exchange and feeling compelled to try and help their relationship, before they ended up like her and Galen, she went to talk to Jez.

The conversation with Jez left her feeling very much like she had just spoken to herself. Jez had given her all of the answers she would have likely given herself had someone spoken to her on the subject. Because being soul mates was **not** easy. As Jez had mentioned, 'Soul mates aren't all rainbows and kisses'. It was truer than Keller would ever want to admit.

Back on her mission she headed into Iliana's room.

"Hey, Keller!" Iliana said, smiling brightly. "What's up?"

"I thought I should be the first to tell you that I'm going with you, wherever the heck they're taking us."

"Really? Awesome! I didn't want to be separated from you!" Keller smiled a little at this. Iliana went straight into what they would get to do together and suddenly she stopped. "You don't look as thrilled about this as I feel you ought to be."

"I don't feel as thrilled as I ought to be," Keller sighted. "Don't get me wrong, I'm glad we're going together, but…"

Iliana's face lit up with realization. "Oh! Oh. Oh… Galen isn't coming, is he?" Keller shook her head. "Then why didn't you say 'no'?"

Iliana understood, Keller realized.

"Because, he told me I should go."

"Oh, Keller," Iliana lamented, throwing her arms around the black haired girl's shoulders. "I'm so sorry!"

Because, of course, Iliana understood this, as well.

"It'll be okay!" Iliana insisted, still not releasing Keller. "I'm _sure_ he didn't mean it the way it sounded!"

Keller sighed. "Iliana, you are my blood sister and I love you. You are good and kind and beautiful." She paused. "But when you say things like that I find it very difficult to believe you. It sounds like you're trying to convince me of something that doesn't exit."

"You didn't see his face when he thought you were dead, Keller. I know… I know that you still look at me and remember that it was me Galen was supposed to love. But he doesn't, I see how he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching."

"Then why… why is it that he told me to leave? Why didn't he ask me to stay with him?"

"Because… I suppose he doesn't want to hold you back from what you ought to do with what he wants you to do."

Keller stared hard at the ground. "I feel really stupid, you know? Ash left his soul mate and he's obsessed with her. And I bet she wonders sometimes, too. I don't want to be away from Galen. I want to stay here."

"For goodness sake, Keller! Don't tell that to _me_. Tell Galen or, better yet, tell Thierry so he can get you off of the list!"

"I said I didn't want to," Keller responded. "I'm still going."

"But _why_?"

"You know why, Iliana. I brought you into this mess and I'll bring you out alive if it's the last thing I do."

"Why do you worry so much about my happiness and so little about your own?"

"Because, you're good and kind and beautiful. You deserve to be happy. I'm not like you. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve Galen."

"Galen would be heartbroken to hear you say that, I think."

"I can't help it that I see things that clearly."

"And I can't help that you're so incredibly _blind_! Galen looks at you like you're that only light on a treacherous path!"

A teardrop hit the floor. Keller was surprised to find she was crying. "That's because Galen is like you." And then she left, fervently wishing that Galen had loved Iliana instead. The she would've never felt this horrific pain.

Maybe she could pretend nothing had happened again. She might be able to up and convince herself that nothing had happened between them. And then maybe she could be complete on her own again.


	2. Chapter 2

2

Insecurities: Galen

Galen sighed as Keller all but fled the room. He hadn't meant it the way she had taken it. He hadn't meant it anything like that at _all_. But the damage was done and now he would have to fix it.

He realized a little belatedly that he probably should have stopped her. Should have made her understand what he had meant before she had gone ahead and made assumptions. But he had, for one moment, been caught in the bitterness of her voice as she had _agreed_ with him that she ought to go with the Wild Powers.

And now he wasn't sure if she had agreed because she wanted to go herself or because she thought that's what he had wanted.

It would drive him insane if he continued thinking like that of course.

He couldn't bring himself to think that Keller actually _wanted_ to leave him. He had been in her mind more than once and never had anything like that come up. But at the same time he couldn't come up with a logical reason she should think he wanted her to leave. She had been in his mind, too, after all.

He wandered out into the hallway and started trying to think through his best options. Which meant he had to come up with all possible variables.

What if she didn't love him anymore? What if she had decided he didn't love her anymore? What if… what if… what if…

He went into his room and sat on the end of his bed. There were so many possibilities, so many variables, so many… for lack of better word… issues.

When it came to Keller everything was day to day. It was something he both loved and hated at the same time. One day he would think she had finally realized how desperately he loved her and the next it was like she believed the opposite.

He wouldn't have been particularly insecure about his relationship with her except… if she thought he didn't love her, or if she decided she didn't love him… she might leave him. And he didn't know if he could live through that. Keller was like the air he breathed. Her presence was both intoxicating and alerting at the same time.

And soon he wouldn't be able to fix this. She would be gone to who knows where and he might not hear from her again for months… years… ever. The thought made his head spin. He couldn't handle it.

And through his open door he watched as Quinn walked out of Rashel's room carrying several boxes and a suitcase.

"Are you going with the Wild Powers, then?" he asked, leaping up.

"No."

"Then what are you…?"

"Rashel isn't going either."

_Oh._ "Not to be nosy or anything but… does Rashel know she isn't going yet?"

"No. She has not been made aware of this fact. But I heard her tell Thierry she would go and I won't allow it."

"Oh, well…" he paused. "I'll just let you go through this on your own. I'll assume that in the end you'll do the right thing."

Quinn glared. "I'm doing the right thing now." And he walked off.

Galen decided, upon seeing the threatening glare, it was in his best interest to not bother with Quinn. He had faith that Quinn would ultimately do what was best for his soul mate.

Galen walked out of the room trying to come up with a plan that would accomplish his ultimate goal of letting Keller know he loved her and seeing her as often as possible without hindering her from what she needed to be doing.

He didn't want her to look back and regret anything because of him.

He saw Rashel walking into her room and almost stopped her to tell her where she could find her things but thought better of it. Sometimes it was necessary to let things be worked out on their own when it came to soul mates. And if he got involved it could break a very delicate balance.

He walked on by Rashel. He started to walk past Iliana's room but he heard Keller's voice from behind the closed door.

"I'm not like you. I don't deserve it. I don't deserve Galen," he heard. And his heart stopped and then it shattered.

Keller, his Keller didn't think she deserved him? It was the other way around. He reached out toward the door, wanting to grab hold of her. He had never been a violent person but he suddenly wanted to shake her and yell at her and make her understand.

"Galen would be heartbroken to hear you say that, I think," he heard Iliana murmur. Heartbroken? No. That didn't even begin to describe it. Crushed, destroyed, horrified, traumatized, anguish. These were words that could be used to describe how he felt.

And, he realized, it was how Keller felt too.

It came to him in a sudden burst of genius.

He would fix this.

He had to.


	3. Chapter 3

Securities: Keller & Galen

Keller stood beside Iliana at the door, eyes wide and mouth agape. Iliana looked smug and knowing.

"You're _what_?" Keller asked. Galen smiled his fairytale prince smile and nodded.

"I'm going with you."

For a moment Keller couldn't even move.

"I set it up with Thierry. He thought it was a great idea, especially since Lupe had to bow out."

So now Keller could blink rapidly.

"Um… I can see when I'm not wanted, I'll just give you two a moment alone," Iliana said, half skipping to the door. She shut it tightly as she left, warding off anyone who might desire to enter.

"Keller," he paused. "Keller, are you alright?"

"Pr… pro… processing. Just give me a second." He nodded. She shook her head, hair flying around her. "Okay, I think I've processed it. Galen… Galen?"

Galen was staring at her looking awestruck. "Um… uh… okay." He seemed to regain his senses and smiled at her.

"Why?"

"Huh?"

"Why are you coming?" Keller asked.

Galen motioned over toward the couch. "Sit with me?" she nodded and sat. Galen sat beside her and turned toward her. "I… I heard you talking to Iliana. I was walking by and I heard."

Keller froze. "You… you heard?" he nodded. "Oh goddess!" she cried, twirling away from him and hiding her face in her hands. She didn't move.

"Keller? Keller we _have_ to talk."

"Just leave me to die, I beg of you."

"Keller," he grabbed her arm and jerked her around. Galen did. Gentle, sweet Galen. Keller tried to stay away from him but Galen was using more force than she expected and so instead she ended up with Galen on top of her.

"Oh…"

Galen shivered. "Keller… you don't really believe that do you?"

"I _know_ it."

Galen groaned. "At this rate you'll be the death of me." He dropped his face into the crook of her neck.

Tears started falling down her cheeks.

"But," he stated. "Death would be kinder than a permanent separation from you."

Keller yelped, shoving him off of her and rolling so she landed on her hands and knees on the floor. She didn't pause, instead she shot up and jumped away from the couch.

"_NEVER_ SAY THAT AGAIN!" she shrieked. "_YOU_WOULD'VE BEEN BETTER OFF IF YOU'D NEVER MET ME!"

Galen followed her. "That's not true, Keller. I _love_ you." He kept his voice steady. He shook his head. "No. Love isn't strong enough… They would need to invent a new word just to explain the way I adore you. With my entire being. Please, Keller. Please?" He reached out to her pleadingly.

She went into his arms without thinking. She started crying even harder. He held her tight like he was afraid she would vanish.

"I'm so…" Keller tilted her head up intending to tell Galen how sorry she was. But Galen's lips stopped her mid-word.

"Keller, oh Keller, you shouldn't be sorry. I should be apologizing to you. I should've taken better care of you."

Keller blinked. "Huh?"

"If I had taken better care of you, you would've _known_ how much I love you and you wouldn't feel like this."

Keller pushed off his chest. "That's not true! You've always taken wonderful care of me!"

Galen brushed a lock of Keller's hair away from her face. She leaned heavily into his palm. "Oh Galen…"

Galen breathed out. "I love you. Forever and ever I adore you."

And Keller kissed him. And that said more than any of her word ever could have.


End file.
